Balancing the Stages

I wasn't planning on posting twice today (scroll down for a recap of our coast vacation), but it was something I didn't want to put off because I know I'd never get around to putting into words again, so here it is.

I sure love having a 3 year age gap between my boys. Some people like to have their children back-to-back and just get all the craziness over with, but for me (and my limited patience, which I'm getting much better at, btw) that was absolutely out of the question. Mister was 2 before I ever even considered having another baby. Up until then it was like, "I don't know if I want to do this again...." But for me, the 3 year gap has been perfect.

Mister was an extremely easy baby. I was told that all the time by other people. "You don't know how good you have it," was a common phrase to hear in reference to our good-natured boy. Then he entered his terrible twos. Which started early, mind you. They lasted until well into his 3rd year, which I actually think was worse than the twos. By that time I was already pregnant with Pumpkin and thinking to myself, "Man, it's a good thing I'm already prego because I don't think I'd choose to do it again right now," (and one particular doctor's visit that I had to take him to while I was pregnant with Pumpkin had me seriously questioning my fitness as a mother). And I was petrified that lightning couldn't possibly strike twice and I'd never luck into having another angel baby. I was really worried. Not panicked exactly, but definitely anxious. Then Pumpkin came and thank heavens he was the angel baby he was. All his sugar really balanced out all the vinegar that Mister was throwing our way. I don't think I could've dealt with two sour pusses at the same time and still been a happy mamma.

Now, however, Mister has turned a corner. Actually he came out of his "haze" (as I call it) when he was around 4, but it just keeps getting better. And now that Pumpkin is firmly into his own terrible twos phase (although, to be fair, it's much milder than Mister's was by comparison) I have Mister's sweetness and lovingness to balance out the dynamic. Oh boy, do I appreciate that balance. It's not that I love one child over the other. It's more that I appreciate different things about them at different times. I still love Pumpkin just as much as when he was a sweet-as-pie baby who rarely cried. But I'm just saying that I'm so incredibly grateful that they are at different stages of their development and personalities.

For example, lately the little things have been really getting to me. I know they're no biggie in the long run, and maybe not even in the short run, but I'm pregnant and hormonal, so in the moment they seem much bigger. But after lots of little things kept piling up, another small little thing this afternoon was the straw that broke the camel's back and I got really frustrated and upset. I started crying and Mister came up to me and crawled into my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck to give me hugs and kisses. He told me that he didn't want me to be sad and that he loved me so much. Then he suggested that we say a prayer to help me feel better. So there we were, kneeling down together in his room as he prayed for me to feel better and be happy, and it worked. Well, actually, it made me cry harder because it was such a sweet gesture from my little 5 year old, so he didn't get it right away that he'd helped me. He actually got worried for a minute. But it really did make me feel better and I'm so grateful to have a loving son who's so concerned for other people's feelings. That's the sweetness I'm talking about and am so grateful for.

And although I still get sad about the baby we lost last summer, I sometimes think about what it would be like to have an infant right now (the baby would've been 6 months old) and how hard it would've been to juggle his/her demands with Pumpkin's defiant stage. And I'll never say I'm glad that happened to our family, but I am looking forward to having another 3 year gap between my children. It's been wonderful and balanced. And I'm a girl that needs balance in life.